Kyros_XIII's Xanga

Sunday, September 07, 2008

Sun, 07 Sep 2008 15:58:07 GMT

A haiku:

I came back because
'cause I thought I could fix it
Who knew it'd be worse?

-=-

I know that it's shit
just can't seem to do things right
I just don't get it.

missing it somewhere
the cues, clues, and tell-tale signs
I'm miserable.

A balancing act:
I don't handle things with care...
I just don't get it

-=-

What does that mean?

Sunday, August 03, 2008

Sun, 03 Aug 2008 18:09:05 GMT

Fuck life.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Tue, 29 Jul 2008 16:57:24 GMT

Life.
Fucking.
Sucks.

...save me?

Saturday, July 05, 2008

Sat, 05 Jul 2008 08:24:39 GMT

I sit here staring at the computer wondering...

what went wrong?

...and I have no answers.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Thu, 19 Jun 2008 04:37:05 GMT

Ugh.

I don't know how to go about saying this any other way, so here goes!

I'm having doubts about the progress of things right now. Yeah, it's hard, it's fast-paced, I still feel like sometimes I'm not used to it... etc., it's all the same, but at the same time I'm feeling overwhelmed. It's really difficult trying to get through this. Sometimes you feel like you have no support, sometimes you feel like nobody knows your pain, sometimes you feel like you're alone. And those are the most trying times.

I don't know. Sometimes it just feels unbearable. And having these doubts flare up in my mind don't really help anything or anyone at all. It just makes it that much harder to deal with, day by day. I know I just have to survive through this, try to plow through all this crap I'm making for myself. I have all these things to do and sometimes I feel like I need a break. I get a break and... I feel like I should be doing things.

2 words: time management. And I suck at it. Still. Haha.

-=-

Oh well.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Sat, 17 May 2008 08:00:12 GMT

As of this moment, I am tremendously ... bored.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Sun, 11 May 2008 07:02:05 GMT

fuck shit piss cock motherfuck bitch fuck piss shit ass fuck fuck cunt motherfuck ass cock shit piss fuck fuck fuck.

Okay, I think I feel better now.

STAGES OF GRIEVING

Fri, 18 Apr 2008 01:21:31 GMT

Denial - I'm not fucking dying.
Anger - I'm dying? Fuck you!
Bargaining - I'll give you anything, just don't let me fucking die!
Depression - I'm gonna fucking die...
Acceptance - I'm fucking dying.

-=-

Haha.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Thu, 17 Apr 2008 03:35:14 GMT

Today I drove by myself with a purpose. Felt like driving around but didn't want to go somewhere far and end up not being able to go back (hey, I'm still new at this, damnit!). Nor did I feel like aimlessly driving around. So I decided to drive to the nearby grocery store - at least I can practice all the things I need there, right? Interacting with traffic, stop lights, turning, parking in an actual parking lot with other cars, etc.

So, I drove there. When I got there, I realized that I hadn't really planned on getting anything. I went inside and felt lost. I hadn't really ever gone to a store by myself with a goal... not related to shopping. Haha, oh well. So I wandered around a bit. Found the Asian foods section and decided to get some seasoning packets for fried rice. One was normal while the other was supposed to be hot and spicy. Also saw some instant noodles and decided to get 2; 2 different brands and types of noodles, but both hot and spicy as well.

I didn't want to leave the store having just gotten those 4, so I thought up things that I've been craving recently. Salmon? Ah, probably not at my budget. Alcohol? No, I'm not craving that, thank you. Personal hygiene? I'm still good with that. Oh, I know! Chocolate pudding! So there goes my search for the elusive chocolate pudding. Ah, I found it, so I went to the cashier and ended up buying...

...a 6-roll pack of Inari sushi.

I didn't know where the freaking pudding was! Plus I saw the sushi before I actually went looking, so instead of looking completely lost, I decided to just get sushi. Hadn't had inari (it's rice wrapped in a brown skin of soybean curd (or so the box says so) - it's slightly sweet) sushi in ages, so it wasn't exactly a bad buy. Anyway, bought all that stuff (amounted to a little under $10 total), left the store, and drove back home.

Got home and decided to have one of the things for lunch. I checked for rice and we didn't have any. Damn. Oh well, I guess it's one of the instant noodle packets. Alright, gotcha. I boiled a pot of water, plunked the noodles and soup mix in, and waited a bit. The thing was red, I tell you, red. After it was done I got myself a bowl of the stuff, went upstairs, and proceeded to eat it.

First spoonful of the soup made me cough. It was... quite hot, to say the least. Well, hot AND spicy. It was good though, really good. But you know the sodium and preservatives and other whatnot they have in those things. Can't be eating them too often now, can I?

The inari sushi was good for quenching the burn from the spices.

A bit after lunch I took a nap. Woke up 3 hours later and having to run to the bathroom.

---

I'm [still] looking forward to eating the second batch of instant noodles.

Sunday, April 06, 2008

Sun, 06 Apr 2008 10:05:06 GMT

Fuck phones.